Cheryl JStop...Hammertime. Call the fashion police!
July 5th 2008 03:19
OK, this is far more insidious than terrorism. This post was triggered by a number of people I saw on my way from the train station to work: Fashion victims and the horror they cause the rest of us on the streets. This time it's male fashion victims.
Now there isn't any one of us who hasn't had one, if not many, cringeworthy outfits and most of us have the photos to prove it. Mine send me into fits of laughter every time I look at them. From the floral stoner hippy pants of the 70s to the tulle and crucifixes of my Madonna fixation in the 80s and my very favourite, my yellow MC Hammer pants... you can't touch this... and really, who would bloody want to? Damn I wish I still had those! The only reason I'm even admitting to owning them is that I'm sure one of my friends will surface with a picture, plus I was proud of them because I made them myself. Yes, at some stage, there were actually dressmaking patterns for those pants.
But the thing that set me off today was not the muffin top of half the female population (thank God that look is on it's way out), it was the number of guys wearing one or the other of the following: Baggy pants with the crotch hanging somewhere around the knees and skinny jeans. The first has been around for years and the latter has had a resurgence since Emo has become popular. Emo Schmemo, you don't look like rock gods, you look like fuckwits.
I'll address them one at a time.
Baggy low hanging jailers. For the love of God, put some pants on that fit. Jeans hanging just low enough to see the top of your Calvins can look sexy, but plumber's crack is just as unattractive on a 20 year old as it is on a fat plumber. And some of them are so low you could park your bike. You don't live in South Central or Compton and you didn't just get out of jail. You are not a 'gangsta', you don't live in 'tha hood' and you look like a tool. I especially liked the guy today who didn't have the brains to shorten the legs on the low hanging jeans and with multiple chains pulling them even further down he tripped over the leg of his own pants. Dude, you looked so cool.
Image CBS news
Second is the skinny jeans. I'm yet to see any guy pull this look off no matter how hot they are or how good the bod is. From the front, it may (and I stress may) look OK but no matter who you are, after 10 minutes of the lycra in your pants stretching, you look like you've shit yourself. Yes boys, from behind it looks like you are carrying an extra load. This doesn't happen with women as we have wider hips and our butts are usually big enough and round enough to prevent that. Although some women should never wear skinny jeans either. You guys just sag.
Mash these two looks together and we are back at hammertime.
In July last year The Sydney Morning Herald reported the following:
Trousers that dangle way below the belt and expose what the wearer has on - or even just has - underneath have been banned in the US city of Alexandria, Louisiana.
"We unanimously passed the legislation because we have had so many complaints from citizens who don't want to see young men with pants hanging so low, showing their underwear and, in some cases, their posterior," city council member Louis Marshall said today.
"The legislation is gender neutral - we wouldn't want to see young ladies walking down the street showing their underwear either," he said.
"Dressing like that - it's just not right or decent."
Because the legislation was passed unanimously by the council, it cannot be vetoed by the mayor and passed into law immediately, Marshall said.
Press reports said a similar ban was passed in another Louisiana city, Shreveport.
But the city council there was split four in favour and three against over the ban, which needs to be approved by the mayor to pass into law.
Councillors in Atlanta, Georgia, are also debating whether to ban saggy pants, and the very low-slung fashion statement is already against city law in Delcambre, Louisiana, where offenders' cheek can earn them a fine of $US500 ($A610) or up to six months in jail.
In Alexandria, the punishment would be "a fine starting at $US25 ($A30.50), that goes up every time the pants go down", Marshall said.
Now there isn't any one of us who hasn't had one, if not many, cringeworthy outfits and most of us have the photos to prove it. Mine send me into fits of laughter every time I look at them. From the floral stoner hippy pants of the 70s to the tulle and crucifixes of my Madonna fixation in the 80s and my very favourite, my yellow MC Hammer pants... you can't touch this... and really, who would bloody want to? Damn I wish I still had those! The only reason I'm even admitting to owning them is that I'm sure one of my friends will surface with a picture, plus I was proud of them because I made them myself. Yes, at some stage, there were actually dressmaking patterns for those pants.
But the thing that set me off today was not the muffin top of half the female population (thank God that look is on it's way out), it was the number of guys wearing one or the other of the following: Baggy pants with the crotch hanging somewhere around the knees and skinny jeans. The first has been around for years and the latter has had a resurgence since Emo has become popular. Emo Schmemo, you don't look like rock gods, you look like fuckwits.
I'll address them one at a time.
Baggy low hanging jailers. For the love of God, put some pants on that fit. Jeans hanging just low enough to see the top of your Calvins can look sexy, but plumber's crack is just as unattractive on a 20 year old as it is on a fat plumber. And some of them are so low you could park your bike. You don't live in South Central or Compton and you didn't just get out of jail. You are not a 'gangsta', you don't live in 'tha hood' and you look like a tool. I especially liked the guy today who didn't have the brains to shorten the legs on the low hanging jeans and with multiple chains pulling them even further down he tripped over the leg of his own pants. Dude, you looked so cool.
Image CBS news
Image Alwaysappealing
Image hs.fi
Second is the skinny jeans. I'm yet to see any guy pull this look off no matter how hot they are or how good the bod is. From the front, it may (and I stress may) look OK but no matter who you are, after 10 minutes of the lycra in your pants stretching, you look like you've shit yourself. Yes boys, from behind it looks like you are carrying an extra load. This doesn't happen with women as we have wider hips and our butts are usually big enough and round enough to prevent that. Although some women should never wear skinny jeans either. You guys just sag.
Image fleshimp
Mash these two looks together and we are back at hammertime.
In July last year The Sydney Morning Herald reported the following:
Trousers that dangle way below the belt and expose what the wearer has on - or even just has - underneath have been banned in the US city of Alexandria, Louisiana.
"We unanimously passed the legislation because we have had so many complaints from citizens who don't want to see young men with pants hanging so low, showing their underwear and, in some cases, their posterior," city council member Louis Marshall said today.
"The legislation is gender neutral - we wouldn't want to see young ladies walking down the street showing their underwear either," he said.
"Dressing like that - it's just not right or decent."
Because the legislation was passed unanimously by the council, it cannot be vetoed by the mayor and passed into law immediately, Marshall said.
Press reports said a similar ban was passed in another Louisiana city, Shreveport.
But the city council there was split four in favour and three against over the ban, which needs to be approved by the mayor to pass into law.
Councillors in Atlanta, Georgia, are also debating whether to ban saggy pants, and the very low-slung fashion statement is already against city law in Delcambre, Louisiana, where offenders' cheek can earn them a fine of $US500 ($A610) or up to six months in jail.
In Alexandria, the punishment would be "a fine starting at $US25 ($A30.50), that goes up every time the pants go down", Marshall said.
| 122 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Honestly, I don't know if I am just getting old or what but it makes me glad I am not a girl in her early twenties, if this is what i have to choose from.
Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Current Business News
Movie Train
Artist Quirk
i actually think skinny jeans look awful on most girls!
the low slung baggy pants are getting really unfashionable now . . . i wouldnt ban them but i would tell my male companion he was looking a little dated!
Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Ooohhhh - now I'm showing my age aren't I - do'h.
Stay sane
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
My pet peeve is big girls spilling out of midriff tops. I was big once, and to have a blubbery roll escape my clothing into the eyes of the world would have left me MORTIFIED. I always wanted to be skinny so I could wear midriff tops and mini skirts with pride.....Now Im thin enough, but old enough to know Id just look like a stripper.
Comment by Jason King
Salty Popcorn
Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Kleo, I am slim but squishy and rolls that spill out from the tops of jeans make me want to run and hide. I would much rather wear something that fits! That said, I was going out for dinner tonight and put on a mid thigh dress with boots and immediately thought, 'Oh my God - mutton, lamb...damn it where are my jeans'. I think we are just smart enough to know what suits us
Jason, show me a young gorgeous guy in a near nude state and I will happily stop my whinging. Mostly all i see are emo tragics who can't pull it off. I'm happy to see any hot young thing wear them. As for the hammer pants, I hang my head in shame... mine were yellow...hahahahaha
Comment by Jason King
Salty Popcorn
I will endeavour, in my searching, to find a hot one in the skinny jeans!!
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
I'm with MNG, bring back the high waisted jeans ... but then I don't care about fashion, my battle cry here is COMFORT and those hanging pants just can't be comfortable, can they?
My teenage daughter tells me that they are "low riding" when they wear them like that... does anyone know what that means?
My one guess is that it means that they are not on drugs and are on a low at the time... do they pull them up then when they are again ..'high?'
Where did this trend begin... and more interestingly, why?
Was it in Zimbabwe, or Kurdistan where refugees had to wear clothes given to them by the Red Cross ... later used to protest wars by sensitives with a conscience (EMO's)?
What makes an EMO want to exhibit his underwear in this way?
So many questions, so little understanding of the psyche of today's pre-apocalyptic, Welfare Babrie youth.
All so interesting ...
Lilla ...
Comment by Julie Vaux
Books Well Read
Strange Situations
The Purple Challenge
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Comment by Anonymous
i do agree though you have to be slim and fit to pull it off.
Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment
Lilla, low riding is one thing but crack showing, pants falling down is way past that. I can tell you how the baggy falling down trousers look began if you want a bit of history. It started as a gang look in the US. When people are sent to prison they remove their belts so they can't hurt themselves or anyone else and it makes their pants hang low. It got to be a sign of a badass that had served time...then went on to be picked up by the guys on the street that wanted that kind of cred...then down to the wannabes and rap stars...and on to the general schmos that have to follow every trend imaginable.
Julie, aaagghh bubble skirts. Why do the ugly fashions keep making comebacks.
Well said Norm. Concise and to the point.
Anon, no offence taken, I know I've gotten old now that I want to walk over and tell them to pull their pants up
Seriously though if any hot young thing wants to post a picture of his arse in skinny jeans in the comments please feel free....all in the name of research of course
Comment by Cheryl J
Funny Videos
Rhythmatism
Zentertainment