Cheryl J
techmanI AM Wonder Woman!
September 12th 2008 02:58
This morning, in what can only be described as a feat which would have left Wonder Woman and Superman reeling, I did what most people say is impossible for a woman. I got ready and to my destination in an impossibly, ridiculously short time.
I work in shifts. For four days a week I work in the afternoons so I normally wake up whenever I wake up and take my time in doing so, I’m SO not a morning person. I do my morning bits and pieces and start work at 1pm. Except that for one day of the week I start work at 8am which means a 6.30 wake up and either a train ride to my destination or it’s fight the morning peak traffic if, and only if, I’ve been lucky enough to be given a car park as a treat at work. The parking costs in the area I work are extortionate. So much so that it would cost me almost $50 to park for the 5 hours I would be there.
So this morning, I open my eyes slowly to realise with horror that the room is far too light to have woken before my 6.30 alarm. I look over to my alarm clock to see the dreaded flashing of the clock that occurs after a power loss. I bolted out of bed at the speed of light to grab my watch which I had left on the shelf of the bathroom sink and the full horror hits...it was 7.42am. First thought - Fuck!!!!!
So I grabbed the pants I wore yesterday which were hanging over the back of a chair, pulled out the first plain t-shirt I could find, threw on my suit jacket and a pair of shoes, grabbed my bag and a pack of baby wipes and sprinted to the car. I had no time to shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, do any makeup etc. Eeeew! Luckily I showered before I went to bed at least.
Just so you understand, I cannot be late for work due to the nature of my job. I have to be there before (preferably) or at the very latest 8am sharp! All I kept thinking was, there is no way it is humanly possible to get that distance, in heavy traffic, in any time that would be remotely close to getting me there on time. Just the ramp leading to the Harbour Bridge is usually at a crawl at this time of day let alone the countless traffic lights and heavy traffic one normally encounters in a city as big as Sydney at in peak/rush hour (there’s a term I’ve never understood. If you are stuck bumper to bumper at a crawl, how could it be a rush?…and it lasts way longer than an hour but I digress).
So, in the car, at each traffic light, I used baby wipes and cleaned my face and armpits and added a quick roll on of deodorant and a spritz of perfume. I twisted my very scruffy hair into a twist with a clip. Next was lipstick which I also smeared on and used as blush to give me colour – I can only imagine the amusement of the people in the car next to me as they saw me draw what must have looked like war paint across my cheeks – next red light came the mascara. I fished around in my bag for my ‘Extra’ Professional tooth whitening chewing gum and stuffed a fistful of it in my mouth. Normally a careful and courteous driver I sped like a lunatic, weaving lanes and generally being a menace on the road. I parked and got to the door of my office at 8.01. In my coffee break I did the only thing a girl in this situation can do, I wet my unruly hair and stuck my head under the hand dryer in the bathroom and then re-affixed it. I look a bit worse for wear but nobody knows.
Shhhhh, it’s a secret!
I work in shifts. For four days a week I work in the afternoons so I normally wake up whenever I wake up and take my time in doing so, I’m SO not a morning person. I do my morning bits and pieces and start work at 1pm. Except that for one day of the week I start work at 8am which means a 6.30 wake up and either a train ride to my destination or it’s fight the morning peak traffic if, and only if, I’ve been lucky enough to be given a car park as a treat at work. The parking costs in the area I work are extortionate. So much so that it would cost me almost $50 to park for the 5 hours I would be there.
So this morning, I open my eyes slowly to realise with horror that the room is far too light to have woken before my 6.30 alarm. I look over to my alarm clock to see the dreaded flashing of the clock that occurs after a power loss. I bolted out of bed at the speed of light to grab my watch which I had left on the shelf of the bathroom sink and the full horror hits...it was 7.42am. First thought - Fuck!!!!!
So I grabbed the pants I wore yesterday which were hanging over the back of a chair, pulled out the first plain t-shirt I could find, threw on my suit jacket and a pair of shoes, grabbed my bag and a pack of baby wipes and sprinted to the car. I had no time to shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, do any makeup etc. Eeeew! Luckily I showered before I went to bed at least.
Just so you understand, I cannot be late for work due to the nature of my job. I have to be there before (preferably) or at the very latest 8am sharp! All I kept thinking was, there is no way it is humanly possible to get that distance, in heavy traffic, in any time that would be remotely close to getting me there on time. Just the ramp leading to the Harbour Bridge is usually at a crawl at this time of day let alone the countless traffic lights and heavy traffic one normally encounters in a city as big as Sydney at in peak/rush hour (there’s a term I’ve never understood. If you are stuck bumper to bumper at a crawl, how could it be a rush?…and it lasts way longer than an hour but I digress).
So, in the car, at each traffic light, I used baby wipes and cleaned my face and armpits and added a quick roll on of deodorant and a spritz of perfume. I twisted my very scruffy hair into a twist with a clip. Next was lipstick which I also smeared on and used as blush to give me colour – I can only imagine the amusement of the people in the car next to me as they saw me draw what must have looked like war paint across my cheeks – next red light came the mascara. I fished around in my bag for my ‘Extra’ Professional tooth whitening chewing gum and stuffed a fistful of it in my mouth. Normally a careful and courteous driver I sped like a lunatic, weaving lanes and generally being a menace on the road. I parked and got to the door of my office at 8.01. In my coffee break I did the only thing a girl in this situation can do, I wet my unruly hair and stuck my head under the hand dryer in the bathroom and then re-affixed it. I look a bit worse for wear but nobody knows.
Shhhhh, it’s a secret!
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Comment by Two Guys Sports
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Why didn't you just take the Invisible Jet to avoid the traffic?
Gene
Comment by Morgan Bell
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i used to do my makeup in the car all the time, it is a really difficult task!
and i used to live in a similar part of town to you so i know how insane the traffic can get around the bridge
you really are a wonderwoman!
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I don't like to take my invisible jet because people can see up my skirt!
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Comment by Cheryl J
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Last I heard it was Megan Gale, is that not happening now? I can't wait for the movie too!
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Budget Centsability
It's been beset by problems since it was first discussed. I was devastated when I found out they weren't going ahead with Whedon's script. He always does such great kick-arse but vulnerable women characters.
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