Lisa Vankula Donovan
techmanDay 1: Pulling the plug
June 30th 2010 13:26
Well, I did it. I broke the Facebook strangle hold. Well, not completely. I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to follow my friend Shawnee's lead and purge my friend list on Facebook. I had 403 and when I was finished I had a mere 190. But you know, I knew every single name on that final list and can actually put the face with the name...well, give or take like five that I kept because I was afraid it would hurt their feelings too much, and about ten that are extended family, whom I never speak to (rather they don’t speak to me) but it would cause too much of a stir within the ranks for me to “un-friend” them.
Perhaps that still shows a bit of weakness in my grand statement of independence from the addictive social networking omnipresence that is Facebook. But we all have to start somewhere. Shawnee on the other hand whittled her list down to an admirable twenty-eight. Twenty-eight! She showed absolutely no remorse in her dropping of the axe -- and yes I was one of the ones left standing in case you are wondering.
I however chickened out and became paranoid of what people would say; these random Facebookers, some of which I hadn’t spoken to in person in over 20 years but added because (thanks to a unique maiden name) they remembered me from high school while sadly, I didn’t remember them.
And I didn’t not remember them because I was some ultra-cool cheerleader whose core group of friends were the high school’s elite...no, no, I was a trumpet playing, photography-loving, shy, skinny, glasses-wearing geek of sorts that had a brother (and this is where the maiden name came in handy) who was the blonde, blue-eyed, charming, ultra-popular swimmer – so most of my acquaintances were hand-me-downs, so to speak.
So there I was, sitting on 190 friends loving that I had the strength to take a stand on the “friend fluffing” that runs rampant on Facebook; yet on the other hand, I realized that I still felt anxious when checking my account. I would get on to see if anyone had left me a message, a poke, a picture of a flower on my wall, a comment to my status update, and sadly, if none of those things were there, it bothered me.
That’s when I realized the insane, inane hold this virtual page on a computer, on the World Wide Web, had on me. What the hell happened to picking up the phone and calling someone? Writing a letter, finding a letter in the mailbox? Now we get on the computer, spend a few minutes replying with short, clever comments (are there any other kind?) and thinking up cool stati (there's debate on the plural form of 'status') to show people how witty we are, how perfect our life is and pray that we get a lot of responses so that we know we are accepted, liked, agreed with...heard.
It’s high school all over again.
So I took my next stand. Because I am from America and live in Australia, I have friends on there that I only have contact with through Facebook. So I decided to update my contact info, make sure there were a couple of different phone numbers to contact me, updated my blog and e-mail addresses, and leave my last Facebook status for next thirty days.
That's right, for the next month, I will only be getting on the computer to do the freelance writing work that I actually get paid for and to check my e-mail. I will see just how strong of a hold that 400-million-member site, that has changed the face of online social networking, has over me.
I’m going to prove to myself, and possibly others, that a person can live, and be happy, without Facebook. We’re taking it old school baby.
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Comment by Journeywoman
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Fashion Peach
I've just done a big facebook friends purge as well.... down to 62 from more than 200. If you make your friends list public, then anyone you've un-friended can see that you're using it for close friends and family now, and shouldn't feel slighted. Smaller numbers are far more pleasant because you feel like you can really be yourself when it comes to statuses (or stati!) and comments.
Best of luck with it anyway